


Fear

by DanaKMulder51



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:29:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22340074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaKMulder51/pseuds/DanaKMulder51
Summary: ** a small piece of work inspired by the scene in Pusher where Mulder is under Modell's control and has the gun pointed on Scully **
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Kudos: 24





	Fear

_Fear. It does some crazy things to a man. I had felt fear before. Many times. But this time, this fear, this was different. This fear was full-encompassing of my body. Not the fear of pulling that trigger as the gun was against my head, believe me, that would be the easy way out of this. But what was coming next. I knew where that gun was pointing if that bullet wasn’t meant for me. She knew it to. I’ve shot at a lot of people in my career, it comes with the job. But to stare into the eyes of your best friend, the single person you trust, hell, you love, and point a gun at her, knowing full well that the probability of the bullet being in that slot was quite high. The fear, it sits in my chest like a weight. My breathing almost non-existent, as if I could stop it enough to release this control on my body. His voice in my head. “Come on. Pull the trigger, Mulder. She shot you, I read it in her files. Payback time... shoot the little spy!”_

_Come on, Mulder. You are stronger than him. He’s in your head. Think. You can’t shoot her. Turn the gun on yourself again. No, don’t. Don’t leave her to see that. Turn it on Modell. Come on, don’t listen to him. I stare into her eyes. I can see the fear in her too. Help me, Scully. I don’t want to do this. I can’t do this. I can smell the bullet in the gun. This is the shot. If I pull this trigger, she’s gone. There is no way at this range and under his control I can mismark my shot. She has a vest on, but I’m aiming for her head. Quick kill Mulder. She won’t feel a thing. No! Stop thinking like that. Please Scully. I don’t want to do this. I try to speak to her through my eyes. Does she understand? She has to know, this is not him. Her eyes meet mine. Intense. She reads me. She knows. I catch a glimpse of a fire alarm in the corner. Pull it Scully. Break his concentration on me. Does she understand what I am trying to say? They say two people, if they connect on a higher level, can read each other by their eyes. Are her and I on that level?_

_“I'm going to kill you, Modell”_

_“Yeah, pull the trigger, you get another crack at me.”_

_She starts to back up towards the door. She reads me. She knows what to do. I can’t hold off Modell much longer. Pull the alarm Scully. Break this. Shit. She’s not pulling it. All I can hope for now is that she gets the hell out of here. “Scully, run! Scully..” My fingers grip the trigger. I feel the tears stinging my eyes. My heart is pounding. I can’t breathe. My chest tightened. This is it. I’m going to shoot her. And I can’t even stop myself. I feel the vomit rise in my throat. The barrel of the gun turns and I hear the bullet fall into place. I close my eyes. Scully, I never wanted this to be how it ended. I never got to tell you….. my thoughts are interrupted by the wailing of a fire alarm. I can think again. I have control over my own body. Quickly, I turn the gun on Modell before he can focus on me again and I pull the trigger. He falls. And for good measure I empty the gun into him. Just incase there was more than one bullet in there. I hand her the gun. It’s over. My body collapses onto the chair. My breathing slows. My heart slowly stops pounding. My chest is still heavy, painful. I almost lost her. I put my head down. I can’t face her eyes. I don’t want her knowing what I am feeling. This pain that has settled in my chest where the fear was, now taking hold of me_.


End file.
